in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
