no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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