You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
