He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
