We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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