The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
