When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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