If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
