I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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