Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
