Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
