I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
