so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
