Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
