so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
