i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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