I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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