Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
