I wish I could teleport
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
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