You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
