she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
