I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
