He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
