brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
