If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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