wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
