I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
