Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
