Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
