i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
People in love make me want to vomit
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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