I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
