oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
