in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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