Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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