Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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