They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
