My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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