Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
