I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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