No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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