True but thats because hes a fetus.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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