if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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