You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
