I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
FUCK WHALES
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
