I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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