Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize