Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
