1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
