I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
