theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
