Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
