I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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