you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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