thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
