She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
