Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize