Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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