The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
