he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
sex in a hospital.. check
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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