My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
