Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
