We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
