Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
try to milk me bitch
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
