I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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