the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
