operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
