If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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