I heard we made out
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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